I have scheduled China’s final visit to the vet for 5:30 PM today.
Yesterday was a blessing. I had some errands to run, but when I came home China hobbled into the living room and climbed into my lap — and stayed for about 90 minutes. Mostly she slept, and purred just a little bit. I stroked her and cried and eventually just placed my hand on her back. Finally she got up and wandered off.
I opened a can of gourmet beef, and she ate a little bit. Later, Fran made some salmon dip and gave China the juice from the can, with little ground bits of salmon mixed in. This was always a special treat for China, which she would guard ferociously. But last night, she barely licked at it for a about a minute before walking away. We covered it up and tried giving it to her again this morning, but she showed almost no interest in it. Fran thinks that these last few days she’s been eating a little bit only to please me.
I took her to the vet this morning for some more fluids and we took her temperature again, and it was 97.5 — better than Monday, but still seriously low. The vet asked me to consider that I was just prolonging China’s suffering. In my heart, I knew she was right.
So I came back home, and asked Fran what she thought. It’s as hard for Fran to make decisions as it is for me (we are both INFPs). She said, “I’m just going to miss her so much,” and we both cried. Then we went and sat with China and petted her. She didn’t even purr. Fran said, “She always purrs for you, Carl. This, to me, is the sign that she’s ready.” I nodded, and then we cried some more. And then I called the vet and set the appointment for this evening.
Pray for us.
N.B. This is the second of four posts on the illness and death of China, and my grief over her passing. The first entry was The Lion in Winter and the next entry is China (1989-2010).
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